A group of One-shots about Cynthia Orson
by Hope You Catch Me When I Fall
Summary: Okay so I've been doing a bunch of one-shots on one word and so I decided to put em here. Enjoy.:D R&R
1. Library and Viridity

**Library and** **Viridity**

The wide expansion of books spread further and further around her as she spun about, this was amazing, and it filled her heart with joy and wonder, there was so much knowledge in this room, in this building. She didn't know where to start, when to fall into this wonder and amazing collection of old and new. Her hands moved about the books, her fingers moved across the spins of the books, she paused, she was so child like in her wonder as her eyes fell on a book and she moved slowly over and slowly pulled it out. The green book, no the viridity coloring of the book astounded her as she read the title. She frowned a little before slipping it back, gently, she could fell how old it was and the likely hood that it would have fallen apart in her small hands no matter how careful she was with it. Her fingers ran through her hair. A smile crept onto her lips, this place this library would keep her content for years. This would be her new home, Cynthia Orson knew where she'd learn more about her magic, she grabbed a few more books and moved to settle into a corner and curled up and began reading.

 _The True Magic inside the beholder can only be found if they let go of what held them to the world, that bound them._

She bit her lip at this as she closed her eyes, what bound her was her guilt, her guilt from the death of her parents, she blamed herself for their deaths, her guilt from killing those kids, from every little thing she did. The blonde took a deep breathe and stopped closing the book as a slow tear trickled down her face and dropped into her lap wetting her skirt. She shook her head, she wasn't weak, she was strong, she was powerful. She had tried to, however, to let go of that guilt but she couldn't, the screams still filled her ears, watching them in her dreams everynight stopped her from ever getting sleep every again. And she had to live with that, with that curse. Her insomnia, and she knew that because of those mistakes no one would love her, no one would trust her, and no one would understand her struggle. So instead of letting people in, she built a wall a wall that grew and grew over the years around her heart so no one could break it. No one could make her cry. And she knew that could happen if she let someone in.

She let go of everything of her emotions, she had to let them go to reach her full potential, she had to stop caring. She had no one left to care about now, they were gone, they were all gone and it was her fault, her fault because she cared. Everyone she ever loved died. It was as simple as that. She bit her lip and closed her eyes as she clasped her hands together.


	2. Alone and Imprisoned

**Alone**

She sat there alone, she bit her lip and curled into herself, she knew this was her life, this would always be her life now, she was a monster a killer. She looked at the villagers, the mothers trembling with tears. She'd killed their babies, she disappeared from where she was away from here, away from her guilt.

 **Imprisoned**

As she sank down her back against the cold steel door she bit her lip, hard, she knew she deserved it but... it scared her just the thought of rotting away here. Her hands trembled as she let out a shuddering breath. Nothing could free her from her own imprisonment, even if they freed her from the cell she'd been imprisoned in nothing could free her from the prison she'd made inside of her, nothing could break those solid walls, no one would ever be able to break those walls and to break her heart and lie and use her ever again.

Never.

She'd make sure of that if she ever got out.


	3. Spark

**Spark**

Something was there, something that made the room light up in front of her eyes, a spark of... what? Love? Joy? She bit her lip and shook her head, no she couldn't love again, if she loved again... she'd she didn't know what would happen, no no the blonde did, she'd kill him, not on purpose but just for loving him, it had happened so many times before, she'd killed her parents by not being there to help them, she'd killed her friends by letting her anger get the best of her. Cynthia Orson couldn't let anyone near her, not until she could control her anger and to hold it back.

She sat there watching him carefully, the young witch wanted more then ever to be held, to be loved, but she knew the consequences of that.

Her hands trembled as she pulled her legs to her chest, he'd already weaseled his way under her walls that guarded her heart and it annoyed her, now she needed to find a way to get him out and then never see him again, she closed her eyes and let a few tears roll down her cheeks and landed on her yellow floral sun dress and tapped her yellow shoes on the ground before she pushed herself up. and dusted the dirt of her back and sighed softly and walked away, she couldn't just sit there and let him stay in her heart.

Joseph Smith would have to be nothing to her, she'd have to go back to her cold solitary life and just stay by herself and study, study and let him find someone who wouldn't be a risk to his life, someone who could care for him better to be able to hold him tightly and not risk burning him.

She couldn't control her powers she never could, they rose and sunk with her moods, so if she had no moods no emotions then her magic couldn't feed off it.


	4. Peevish

**Peevish**

Emotions ran wild, they controlled her, controlled her magic. She shook her head as she snapped the book close and took deep breaths.

" Cyn?"

"Shut up!" was her peevish reply, spinning and opening her eyes to look at him before narrowing her eyes. She was annoyed, she couldn't hold her emotions back, not when he stood there, they flew about her head.

"I told you to leave me alone, for your safety Joe now leave me alone." she growled and turned away and closed her eyes, trying to settle her emotions to calm them, she felt her hands warming up, no... she couldn't. She took a deep breath as she heard his footsteps leaving, growing distant as a tear rolled down her soft cheek as ot rolled onto her lip, salty tears. She trembled as she the door closed to the library she sat in.

He was gone, he had to be gone forever, gone from her life, from her heart, if he stayed she'd burn him, or hurt him some other way. She'd put him in trouble.


	5. Hope

**Hope**

Hope was useless, nothing could help her, nothing could save her, she was doomed to live by herself forever. Yeah it sounded like all doom and gloom, but no one understood that if she dared herself to hope that she'd be dooming the person she trusted, the person she liked to death, or to extreme pain. Cynthia wasn't a monster, she'd never want that for anyone. A soft whimper left her lips as she curled into herself. There had been a glimmer of hope before but she almost harmed him, almost blew up and that was all she needed to let her know that she had to go, had to leave, she couldn't let him be hurt.

Hope made you defenseless, it made you feel like there was a chance when really there wasn't a chance at all, hope made people do crazy things. Cynthia knew that because she'd seen it happen, not only to those around her but also to herself, she'd hoped for a good life, even being an orphan, she'd hoped for those towns folk to trust her, to care for her even after her parents had that hope was for nothing, she'd grown close to the kids her age but they'd teased her for being who she was and she let her emotions control her.

 _"Emotions don't make you weak Cindy, they make you stronger they make you who you are, they give you a personality, they make you human."_

That's what her mother told her, the night before she died, the night her mother was taken from the young child.

 _" Don't cry, don't cry, crying will make you weak, crying will let others see your weakness, will see that you are vulnerable and will exploit that."_

That's what Alex had told her, had tried to comfort her after her father's death, Alex was like a big brother to her, always there to help, but she ended up killing him with all the other town's children. She'd heard the screams of pain.

A shudder ran down her spin as she recalled the sound, the pleas for help.

She stood up and grabbed the mp3 player that lay on the table beside her and stuck the headphones in her ears and played the music as she moved to go for a jog, to stop these emotions, to stop being stop Hoping.


End file.
